![]() Once, not too longago,I was so upset that I drank half a bottle of wine and then sat on the floor crying. Fortunately, I had a friend nearby. I was feeling bad about something I should have done, that affected another friend’s life. My friend had shown forgiveness and understanding, and now I needed to show those things to myself. If there’s onething being alive 52 years has taught me, it’s that pain doesn’t last forever, at least not at the sharp, almost-unable-to-breathe way it first hits. That doesn’t of course mean it doesn’t come back. And it doesn’t mean that it might still be there as dull aches that come up. Some moments, some days can be simply unbearable. And once you’ve been through enough of those moments, you know you just need to hang on and get through it, to just let it flow until it’s ready to release. Like holding a crying baby. Like hanging on tight on a roller coaster ride for one more heart-dropping descent or loop-de-loop. If you just hang on and be patient, you’ll find yourself back with your feet on the ground. And you’ll look up at the people on the roller coaster ride, shrieking and think, I got through that, and look, there are other people who are going through it now, and in the end, while we all might survive it a little differently--some with a smile of exhilaration wanting another go, some with a grim face of “I did it,” and some will stalk away, deciding they never want to do THAT again. Of course we don’t always have a choice about living through the pain. But we must just hang on, and trust that we’ll get through it.
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July 2023
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